My Second Love

A Blog to Brag and share and show love for your family

Monday, March 03, 2008

my son turned 9

My oldest turned 9 years old today. Whenever he has a birthday I always think of how it's also the anniversary of me becoming a mom. He's so smart and big I am truly blessed and thankful that I have him. He went to the movies for his birthday and saw the spiderwick Chronicles he also got a video game and a learning laptop (a nice balance lol!) Time does fly!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

My Marriage Breakthrough

I have been reading Joyce Meyer's book Making Marriage Work and it has been opening my eyes to alot of things and I have been praying feverishly about my marriage. While in deep prayer the other day I asked God what do I have to do to just have peace in my marriage and within myself and then I was lead to write this:

I let go of any and all control

I will not expect Xavier to give back to me what I give to him but instead would just give out of the selfless love God has put in me

I will not run away

I deserve what I got myself into, now I will wait patiently for God to heal me and my marriage.

Romans 8:28

After that I read it over and over again and God opened my eyes to how I love strangers more then I do my own husband. I will help somebody in a minute and not be selfish about it but can't even do something for Xavier without yelling at him about what he has done for me. I cried and cried and felt so freed

I know to many ladies this probably sound crazy but I was tested yesterday evening. Xavier asked me to walk to the store in the snow for him, he also had just spent time with his friends (which I hate) but instead of just yelling at him and telling hime how he needs to do stuff for me, I just did it. I also just agreed about a household decision he made without arguing about it. Yesterday night was the most passionate and the sweetest night I have had in a long time. He gave me the emotion I missed and the communication I missed. I can't wait to keep this up and just simply rely on God to change my husband through my good attitude and sacrifice.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Having Clarity

I hope everyone had a very blessed Christmas. My Christmas wasn't so good because me and my husband was fighting.

Me and my husband are having major issues now. We will be married seven years this March. We are just stuck in this rut of constantly fighting. I am praying, speaking the Word over our marriage and trying to stay focused but it seems the minute he says something or disappears with his friends, I am at my wit's end and I lose all my peace.

I was thinking about that just last night when I came across a note I wrote myself while listening to my Pastor's radio show it was a quote and I'm not sure who he was quoting but it was "In the essentials let there be unity, in the non-essentials let there be liberty, but in all things let there be clarity." Which meant to me that in the most important things we should be agreeing on and we should learn to just let go the little petty things that we don't agree on.
So I sat down and made a list of all the essentials and non-essentials in our marriage. I realized it was very hard for me to write things in the non-essentials column but I wrote in there what I felt God was leading me to write in there. One of them was all the time he spent with his friends and I also wrote in there his bad habits that he has that destroys his own body. I heard God telling me to let those go and let Him take care of that. In the essentials was things like faithfulness, honesty, trust, putting God first in our family by going to church and praying together. It also was hard to write in the non-essentials column the fact he doesn't pick up after himself but compared to the essentials column that is something that I can let go. After I finished I felt so good and I wrote my husband a note about doing his own column and for us to switch. (We weren't speaking to each other at the time) He must've liked the idea because he put my note on the refrigerator.

Please pray for us and the improvement of our marriage in this new year.

Happy New Year Everybody! God bless

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Nanowrimo is going so well!!

I am doing nanowrimo again this year where I tackle writing 50000 words in one month. National Novel Writing Month in November where people all over the world try for the challenge of writing a 50000 word novel in one month. Last year I was successful but after many trials and struggles. (I am now trying to publish that novel) But this year I am having such a good time. I wrote my November column about it and I started a group at my local library for other writers to join in with me! 5 days in and I have 12,000 words written! my book this year is about a humorous side of a bad marriage. It's titled I hate that man that I love. I use true and exaggerated experiences from my own marriage and I amhaving so much fun with it! I also have an underlying lesson in the book about accepting each other's faults and allowing each other to grow. I will keep you posted on my writing!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Last year I blogged about how I love to dress my kids up for halloween and boy did I hear it from another reader! I wondered about it, was it just religious restrictions or is it that important as a Christian to keep halloween from my children? Well I checked out a Christian apologetics website that is very helpful and uses Biblical views for Christian debates. Below is a copy of what they wrote about halloween.

Halloween is celebrated by millions of people as a fun time for kids, putting on costumes, and going door-to-door to get candy. But it is also known as a time of witches, ghouls, goblins, and ghosts. On one hand, some see halloween as a harmless time of fun and on the other, a ghastly and demonically inspired night to be avoided. As Christians, there is a lot of debate on whether or not we should participate in Halloween. Is it alright to go trick-or-treating? Can we dress our kids up in costumes on that day? If we do any of this, are we celebrating an evil holiday?
Halloween's Origins
The word Halloween is derived from the term "All Hallows Eve" which occurred on Oct. 31, the end of summer in Northwestern Europe. "All Saints Day," or "All Hallows Day" was the next Day, Nov. 1st. Therefore, Halloween is the eve of All Saints Day. Apparently, the origins of Halloween can be traced back to ancient Ireland and Scotland around the time of Christ. On Oct. 31st, the Celts celebrated the end of summer. This was important because it was when animal herders would move their animals into barns and pens and prepare to ride out the winter. This was also the time of the crop harvests. This annual change of season and lifestyle was marked by a festival called Samhain -- pronounced 'sow-ane' and means 'end of summer.' Sow rhythms with cow. There was much superstition associated with this time of change including the belief in fairies, and that the spirits of the dead wandered around looking for bodies to inhabit. Since the living did not want to be possessed by spirits, they dressed up in costumes and paraded around the streets making loud noises to confuse and frighten the spirits away. In addition, the new year began for the Celts on Nov. 1. So, the day of Samhain was believed to be a day that was in neither the year past or the year to come. Since it was in between, chaos ruled on that day. Often, people would pull practical jokes on others as a result. Later, around the 5th century, as the Catholic Church developed and moved into the area, instead of adding a new day to celebrate, it took over the Samhain celebration. Nov. 1st became "All Hallows Eve" where all the saints of the Catholic church were honored. A later custom developed where people would go door-to-door on Nov. 2, requesting small cakes in exchange for the promise of saying prayers for some of the dead relatives of each house. This arose out of the religious belief that the dead were in a state of limbo before they went to heaven or hell and that the prayers of the living could influence the outcome. This may have been the precursor to Trick-or Treat. The Jack-0-Lantern apparently comes from Irish folklore about a man named Jack who tricked the devil into climbing a tree. Once the devil was in the tree, Jack carved a cross on the trunk, preventing the devil from coming down. The devil then made a deal with Jack to not allow Jack into hell after Jack died if only Jack would remove the cross from the tree. After Jack died, he couldn't go to hell, and he couldn't go to heaven. He was forced to wander around the earth with a single candle to light his way. The candle was placed in a turnip to keep it burning longer. When the Irish came to America in the 1800's, they adopted the pumpkin instead of the turnip. Along with these traditions, they brought the idea that the black cat was considered by some to be reincarnated spirits who had prophetic abilities. So, it appears that the origins of Halloween are a mixture of old Celtic pagan rituals superstition and early Catholic traditions.
What does the Bible say about Halloween?
What does the Bible say about Halloween? Nothing. But it does speak concerning witches, the occult, and paganism.
Exodus 22:18, You shall not let a witch live.
Deut. 18:10-12, "Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD…"
The Bible definitely speaks negatively about occultic practices, spirits, and witches and condemns not only the practice but also the people who are involved in it. As Christians, we are to have nothing to do with the occult. Tarot Cards, contacting the dead, séances, lucky charms, etc., are all unbiblical and can harm a Christian's fellowship with God and open the Christian to demonic oppression. Most Christians know this and avoid these activities. But, the question still remains. Since there are ancient pagan connections and present occultic connections, what is the Christian to do?
Can the Christian celebrate Halloween?
The answer is simple: Yes and No. Let’s look at the negative first. The Christian is not to be involved with or support the occult, witchcraft, demonism, or any other thing that uplifts the occult. To do so is to contradict God’s word, dabble in demonic spirits, and invite judgment from God. If a Halloween celebration is centered on demons, devils, spirits, etc., I would say don't have anything to do with it. On the other hand, it isn't wrong to dress up in a costume and go door-to-door saying 'Trick or Treat." Provided that the costume isn't demonic, I can't see anything wrong with this. It's just fun for the kids. Take a look at the Christmas tree. It was originally an ancient fertility symbol. Yet, it has become a representation of Christmas and the place where gifts are placed. Are the Christians, then, paying homage to an ancient pagan fertility god? No. Not at all. They do not consider it pagan at all and are simply joining in on a cultural event and giving no honor to anything unbiblical. In the Bible in 1 Cor. 10:23-33, Paul speaks about meat sacrificed to idols. This meat was often sold in the meat market and the question arose, "Should a Christian each such meat?" Paul said in verse 25, "Eat anything that is sold in the meat market, without asking questions for conscience' sake." This is most interesting. He says it is okay to eat the meat bought in the market place even though that meat may have been sacrificed to idols. Then in verses 28-29 he says, "But if anyone should say to you, 'This is meat sacrificed to idols,' do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for conscience' sake; 29 I mean not your own conscience, but the other man's; for why is my freedom judged by another's conscience?" (NASB). Paul is saying that if you find out the meat was sacrificed to idols, don't eat it -- not because of you, but because of the other person. In other words, eating that meat won't affect you. But, it may affect the attitude of another who does not understand the freedom the Christian has in Christ. Is it any different with Halloween (or Christmas)? No. Even though Halloween has pagan origins, because of your freedom in Christ, you and/or you kids can dress up in costumes and go door-to-door and just have fun. However, if you are not comfortable with doing this, then you should not. If you know of a person who would be stumbled by doing it, then you shouldn't either.

So basically not celebrating halloween and condemning others because they do is a religious practice and it does not demonstrate our freedom in Christ. I never dress my children demonically and they always go as cartoon characters etc. I have already started teaching them that Halloween is pretend fun and that we don't want to scare other people with scary costumes or displease God but simply taking part in the fun is not a sin.

My Night with Ayanna

I babysat my new niece last night so that my sister could have her a night out. She is now 3 1/2 months old. I was so excited and was hoping that this would help me with my mommy sadness. My mommy sadness is that my baby Xaria is now 3 and that lately I have been missing having a baby around. My husband Xavier thought that me having Ayanna would only make me miss having a baby even more.

When I picked Ayanna up, she was screaming terribly and my sister didn't know what was wrong. I know my mommy experiences had to make things easier. I assumed she is teething because she is constantly chewing on her hands as she screamed. When I took her home and gave her teething medicine I figured everything would be okay, but she kept screaming and screaming and didn't want to take her bottles. I noticed that the bottles her mom gave her (she stopped nursing her early due to the premature drying of her milk) wasn't very warm more luke warm. So figured that could be the problem. I warmed her bottles and gave it to her. Finally she stopped screaming and ate. She played with us and smiled until she fell asleep. I woke up at 4am to warm and feed her again and then at 7 I fed her and gave her some babyfood as well. I realized it was time for me to get my two oldest ready for school and get dressed for work myself. But Ayanna didn't want me to put her down. She kept crying everytime I sat her in her seat. My 3 yr old was also very jealous and every time I held her she tried to climb all over me.

So even though I love Ayanna and will babysit her again I was glad to give her back to her mom when she came to pick her up at 8:30 am My baby sickness is officially cured! picture of above is of Ayanna Arie Winslow my niece.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Answer to prayer

I blogged about my new job and wanting to become a columnist, well not long after that I was being interviewed by the publisher and I was telling her how I love to write and went to school for it and she offered me a column. My second column will be published October 10th. God is good and He hears us! God bless all of you! Please feel free to post your prayers on here as well!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

My Baby Birthday and My New Nephew

My daughter Xaria turned 3 today. Time flies (she is the little baby in my blog photo i'm holding) Her up to date photo is to the right She is so smart and independent and she can't wait for preschool. My sister Teresa also gave birth to my first nephew today. She was one day over due I never imagined she would have her baby on this day. His photo is to the left. My poor baby was lost in all the new baby excitement but she still had fun because I gave her anything she wanted and let her run a muck. The weather was rainy so we decided that we will take her out this Saturday. I am a bit overwhelmed because I don't know exactly what to make of all my children growing so fast and just knowing that my nephew will be growing up at the same time that my baby did will bring back alot of overwhelming memories. But I thank God that He has blessed me with the children I have and the independence I now have now that my life isn't centered around the demanding needs of a newborn.

* my other sister gave birth to a little girl July 9th that was my first niece so there's been alot of babies around me lately!